If you haven’t come up with any Valentine’s Day ideas yet, well, you might be in trouble. Maybe you have a partner that isn’t really that concerned about a big date idea. You know what, though?
They are. They’re very concerned about your apparent lack of foresight.
Anyway, I’m going to share some real quick suggestions that require little-to-no prep. Just a bit of tech you probably already have. Some of them are good. Some of them are bad. All of them will work as a couple or a single or an it’s-complicated.
Scoto's List of Not Awesome but OK Ideas
Call your friends and see what they’re up to for Valentine’s Day.
Maybe you can steal their idea. If nothing else, you’ve disrupted their plans and now no one is having a good time.
Plot a route on Google maps, rent a real expensive car and drive around.
Do the hilarious Grey Poupon joke until your date gets mad. That’ll probably be around the second time.
Phone your grandma.
She loves to hear from you. If you’re single, try to convince her you’re in a relationship with Katy Perry like she always wanted.
Spend the evening asking your Google Home questions about itself.
Hey Google, how tall are you? Hey Google, what’s your favourite colour? Hey Google, do you like me? -- No matter how many dumb questions you ask, it will not get mad at you.
Play Netflix Roulette.
Close your eyes and bounce around Netflix until it feels right. Open your eyes to see what you chose. Binge watch it. If it’s Fuller House...man, I don’t know what to tell you.
Use that cucumber face mask and lavender bath bomb.
That sounds like a good idea but, uh-oh, it was a gift from your weird aunt for Christmas 2015 and you’re about to find out what happens when a cucumber mask goes bad.
Create a playlist on your phone and carry a wireless speaker around with you to have an impromptu dance party every 23 minutes. You’ll want to set a timer.
Couple: Dance like John Travolta and Uma Thurman in Pulp Fiction -- Single: Dance like Napoleon Dynamite from Napoleon Dynamite.
If you’re still reading this hoping for a better idea, that’s all I’ve got. I hate to disappoint but I did set the expectations pretty low.